Mga Nakakatawang Yugto sa Pinoy TV


1. Nadia Montenegro promoting the movie, The Life Story of Julie Vega:
“I would like to invite everybody to watch the Life Story of Julie Vega. Kung nasaan man si Julie ngayon, I’m sure she’s very happy ‘coz it’s just around the corner.”

2. Melanie Marquez’s parting shot to Mrs. Dee, her former mother-in-law:
“You know, I’ll say this in English because Mrs. Dee doesn’t understand Tagalog. Mrs. Dee.. ang labo mo!”

3. Melanie Marquez accepting an award:
“Thank you very much. Ito na ang pinakamasayang pasko at manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat.”

4. Melanie Marquez accepting another award:
“I want to thank my mother, my father and my parents.”

5. Melanie Marquez complementing Nikki Valdez backstage on her dance moves:
“Nikki, you’re so galing. You should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!”

6. Melanie Marquez on Joey Marquez:
“Don’t judge my brother; he’s not a book!”

7. Melanie Marquez on her father:
“Ang tatay ko lang ang only living legend na buhay!”

8. Melanie Marquez feeling relieved:
“My answers have been prayered.”

9. An indignant Melanie Marquez:
“I won’t stoop down to my level!”

10. In the Mata ng Bayan portion of her show, Inday Badiday asks the usual questions to an abandoned street kid:
Inday: Kilala mo ba ako? (Do you know who I am?)
Street kid: Opo (Yes, maam)
Inday: Sino ako? (Who am I?)
Street kid: Bakla. (A homo).

11. On her new year’s eve show, Inday Badiday quizzes Madame Auring, fortune teller and walking plastic surgery disaster:
Inday: Ano ang iyong prediction kay Stella Suarez? (What is your prediction for Stella Suarez?)
Madame Auring: Lalo siyang sisikat sa darating na taon at malalampasan pa niya ang kasikatan ni Alma Moreno. (She’ll be more famous in the coming year and she’ll surpass the fame of Alma Moreno).
The following day’s headline: Stella Suarez Commits Suicide!

12. Towards the end of Kris Aquino’s interview with Jessa Zaragosa:
Kris: Describe Dingdong (Jessa’s husband) in three words.
Jessa: Actually, one word lang: My life.

Fwd e-mail from Wendel…

1. NAP GUTIERREZ INTERVIEWING MANILYN REYNES IN MOVIE MAGAZINE
NAP: Saan ka movie outfit nakakontrata?
MANILYN: So far, hindi ko naman pinoproblema ang mga wardrobes ko kasi
ex-deal naman eh.

2. JULLIE YAP DAZA GUESTING ON VILMA!
JULLIE: O Vi nag-guest na ko dito sa show. Ikaw,kailan ka naman mag-ge-guest sa show ko?
VILMA : Alam mo naman Tita Jullie, busy kami ni Ralph sa pag-a-arrange ng kasal namin. Siguro pagkatapos na lang ng marriage!

3. If I were to compare the stars of my era with the star discoveries of Dr. Rey delaCruz,it would be like placing the Taj Majal of India side by side with a Volkswagen. * CELIA RODRIGUEZ

4. RITA GOMEZ AS A JUDGE IN A BB. PILIPINAS PAGEANT, ASKING A CANDIDATE A
QUESTION DURING THE Q AND A (CANDIDATE INCIDENTALLY IS MARIA ISABEL LOPEZ)
RITA: Here’s your question, hija: Are you still a virgin?
MARIA ISABEL: If I say I still am, can I bring home the crown tonight?
RITA: Good answer!
MARIA ISABEL: What about you Ma’am, are you still a virgin?
RITA: Hija I have 5 children with 5 different fathers,what do you call
that, Immaculate Conception???

5. Ang ganda ng gospel number na yon, napaka-enlighting. Teka magpupunas lang ako, I’m sweatening.*VILMA SANTOS

6. Thank you, Lucky for the flowers…where did they came from? *VILMA SANTOS

7. Being Miss Universe is like having a birthstone, you may lose it. Being
a Filipina is like having a birthmark, it’s forever. *MARGIE MORAN DURING THE Q AND A PORTION OF THE 1973 MISS UNIVERSE, ASKED WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BEING MISS UNIVERSE AND BEING A FILIPINA

8. Salamat po sa Board of Judges. Ito na ho yata ang pinakamaligaya kong pasko at manigong bagong taon sa inyong lahat. * MELANIE MARQUEZ’S ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR WINNING BEST ACTRESS IN A METRO FILMFEST

9. Successful naman ang libing ng nanay ko. *BABETTE VILLARUEL

10. “Sa tingin ko ang pinaka-asset ko sa mukha ko ay ugali!Mabait kasi ako
eh” *MR. POGI CONTESTANT’S ANSWER TO THE QUESTION: ANO SA MUKHA MO ANG PINAKA-ASSET MO?

DURING THE PARADE OF CONTESTANTS
11. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Ma. Rosario Liboon, I come from the beautiful city of Pangasinan…City! *SHE’S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT

12. Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! I am Carmelita HErnandez, I come from Pasay City and I want to be a medicine! *ANOTHER SHE’S GOT THE LOOK CONTESTANT DURING THE PARADE OF CONTESTANTS

13. BOY A: O Melanie, do you have any message to your mother-in-law in case
nanonood siya ngayon!
MELANIE: You know what Kuya Boy, I have to speak in English cause she cannot understand Tagalog. “You know what Mrs. Dee…I’ve long been wanting to tell you this… Ang labo mo!”

14. EDU: So who’s to blame?
VILMA: Excuse me, it’s not my fault anymore. It’s your fault anymore!

15. OVERHEARD FROM A GIRL NA GALIT SA KARARATING NA BOYFRIEND SA STARBUCKS.
GIRL : My God you’re so late. Where did you…Where have you…Where do you… saan ka ba galing???

16. HOST : WHICH DO YOU PREFER: BLONDE OR DUMB?
GIRL : DUMB NA LANG AT LEAST HINDI AKO MAPAGKAKAMALANG BLONDE!

17.DESSA AFTER SINGING A SPOT NUMBER IN A REGINE VELASQUEZ CONCERT. DESSA APPARENTLY SANG A VERY VOCALLY CHALLENGING SONG AND AS EXPECTED, ENDED iT WITH A THROAT BREAKING NOTE. REGINE ENTERS.
DESSA : O kala mo ikaw lang ang mataas ang boses.Kaya mo yun?
REGINE : Eh ano ngayon, maganda ka ba?

18. SABRINA M. MAKES TARAY TO OSANG IN A TALK SHOW.
SABRINA M: At least hindi naman ako katulad ng iba diyan na retokado ang boobs.
OSANG : Hoy Sabrina, oo nga itong boobs ko retokado. Pero at least ang ngipin ko hindi pustiso tulad ng sa yo! Ooops huwag kang magagalit baka malaglag yan sa sahig!

19. “I am inviting all the televiewers to watch our movie “14 Going Steady” on the twenty-twoth of November….” (HAY NAKU, O SIYA….) -Nadia Montenegro

20. “Sana po’y panoorin natin ang The Life Story Of Julie Vega…alam kong masaya si Julie ngayon dahil it’s just around the corner. (GAWIN DAW BANG CHRISTMAS SPIRIT SI JULIE?) -Nadia Montenegro

21. “I am not an addict. I am the victims!” (WALA TALAGA SIYANG PAGOD,NO?)-Melanie Marquez

22. Host: “Ano ba ang pinaka-favorite mong movie lately, Melanie?”
Melanie:”Maganda yung kay Emma Thompson at Kate Winslet, yung “Simple and Simplicity”.

23. “Magandang Tanghali po, ako po si Luzviminda Cortez mula sa Camarines
Sur, sumalangit na po ang inyong kaluluwa!” -Miss Gay Philippines
candidate during the parade of candidates

24. RITA GOMEZ: Good evening, Elvira!
ELVIRA MANAHAN: It was! What’s your business here?
RITA GOMEZ: It was plain business until the monkey came.
-Rita Gomez guesting on Two for the Road with Elvira Manahan and Nestor
Torre

25. Ladies and gentlemen let’s all welcome Miss Sheryl Cruz! -Martin Nievera
presenting Ruffa Gutierrez with this intro on Martin After Dark

26. Ladies and gentlemen, take it away with Miss Jean Saburat! – Joe Quirino
presenting Jean Saburit with this intro on Seeing Stars with JQ

Ano Ang Masasabi Mo?